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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355170">Codename: Eden</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilkPond/pseuds/MilkPond'>MilkPond</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Character/ OC, Canon-Typical Violence, Cute, Drama &amp; Romance, Drug Use, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Mental Health Issues, Multi, OCs - Freeform, Original Characters - Freeform, Swearing, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:15:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355170</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilkPond/pseuds/MilkPond</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Commonwealth's biggest liar meets the Commonwealth's dumbest blonde.</p><p>Formatting will be a bit off, I copy and paste :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Deacon (Fallout)/Original Female Character(s), Deacon/Female Sole Survivor, Paladin Danse (Fallout)/Original Female Character(s), Robert Joseph MacCready/Female Sole Survivor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Garden of Eden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The time they met</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Deacon's pov :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spring 2284</p><p>I couldn't.</p><p>I wouldn't.</p><p>I already was.</p><p>Before I could stop my feet from sliding over across the bar, I was already there.</p><p>And before I could turn and walk away, she noticed me.</p><p>She makes a nice polite wave. </p><p>I wave back, wondering why I’m so drawn to this young girl at this sleazy bar. Usually I don't do things on instinct. Everything I do is careful. Meticulous. Planned.</p><p>"Are you just gonna stand there or are we gonna talk?" The girl asks. </p><p>I silently wonder how old she is. Can't be more than twenty-five. Maybe her two braids hanging down her shoulders was making her look younger.</p><p>"Hey there, sunshine," I smile. "Sorry," shit did I just call her sunshine? Who am I? Hancock?</p><p>She laughs and shakes her head. "Hey handsome."</p><p>Not all bad, then! She called me handsome! </p><p>"What brings you here all alone?" I ask, trying to put the charm on. Maybe if I’m lucky, I could take her to bed. That sounds amazing, actually. A couple of beers and a quick fuck before returning to work. </p><p>She shrugs. "Vadim's a good friend. He's been letting me work here sometimes when I need the caps."</p><p>Knowing Vadim personally and occasionally working here? She had to live in Diamond City.</p><p>"Ah, yeah, Vadim's a good man." I say.</p><p>Where the hell was Vadim, anyway?</p><p>When I walked in, it was just this girl standing at the bar. No workers. No customers. Weird.</p><p>"He really is." She smiles. "I'm Eve, by the way." She holds out her hand.</p><p>"I’m Deacon, nice to meet you. Where is everyone?"</p><p>"Your guess is better than mine, Deacon."</p><p>She doesn't know where everyone was. She had to have seen Vadim if he gave her that beer she was drinking. But she also worked here. Maybe she got it for herself. </p><p>"Where's Vadim? Or even Yefim?"</p><p>She shrugs again. "Vadim gave me a beer and headed into the back. Dunno what he's doing."</p><p>Weird. "Do you think he'd be mad if I got myself a drink?"</p><p>"Nah. As long as you pay I'm sure he won't care."</p><p>I took that as permission to wander around the back of the bar and pop open my own beer, dropping a couple caps on the counter "You live here?" I tell myself I was asking because I want intel. Deep down I know I just want to know because she was pretty. </p><p>"Yep. You?"</p><p>I shake my head. "I live everywhere."</p><p>"Move around a lot?"</p><p>"You could say that." I should've just told her I live in Diamond City too. That would raise less questions.</p><p>"Hmmm. I've only lived here and at my family's little bed and breakfast."</p><p>Nodding, I open my drink. "Where's that at?"</p><p>"Oh, it's on the way to the Capital Wasteland. Pretty damn far from here."</p><p>Why is she so far away from her home? I swear I've passed a bed and breakfast over there. Maybe it was her's. "I've been down there a few times. Place is a shithole."</p><p>She nods in agreement. "Tell me about it." </p><p>I wonder what ever happened to that MacCready kid from Little Lamplight. He was an asshole. If I didn't have any morals, I would've kicked that kid's ass.</p><p>We fall into an oddly comfortable silence. </p><p>And before I know it, we’re sitting across from each other at a little table, and Eve is ranting about synths.</p><p>If she’s smart, she won't be yelling about how synths are people too right in Diamond City.</p><p>"We have to save them!" She exclaims. "They don't even know they're synths!"</p><p>I peg her as Railroad material. All I have to do is prod her and maybe we would get a pretty new face around HQ.</p><p>"And why do you want to save the synths?"  I ask. "What do you think of 'em?" If I’m lucky, I could get a new traveling partner.</p><p>Eve crosses her ankles under the table we sit at. "'Cause they're just like real people. I bet most don't even know they're synths. They're like slaves, just being forced to do the Institute's dirty work." She rambles. </p><p>I raise an eyebrow over my sunglasses. "You think they're like slaves?"</p><p>"Yeah. You can't tell who's a synth and who isn't. They have emotions and hopes and dreams and feelings. I just wish more people understood."</p><p>I laugh and nod. "You and me, sunshine, we think the same, and I have a whole group of friends that do too." I shrugged off the weird feeling she gave me. It felt familiar yet so foreign.</p><p>"Woah, you really do?!" I guess she’s never met someone who agrees with her. "Can I meet your friends?"</p><p>I pause for a moment and glance around the smokey bar. "Y'know what? Yeah. Yeah I want you to meet them. How good are you at keeping secrets?"</p><p>"I'd say pretty great. Still never told anyone about the summer of 2282." She jokes.</p><p>I nod, knowing I would definitely introduce this girl to Desdemona. If I was honest with myself, I only started talking to her at the bar because she was pretty. I didn't guess that I would end up dragging her to Dez. "Yeah, yeah you and me will get on great." I smile. "So, to meet my friends, you have to come with me to our, uh, secret clubhouse."</p><p>She smiles. "You guys have a secret clubhouse?! Awesome! I wanna see it!"</p><p>I laugh lightly. "No kidding? Well, it's a bit of a hike from here. When can you leave for a couple days?"</p><p>"Nothing's keeping me here. I was just staying here in Diamond City until I figured out what to do."</p><p>"Well, I'm supposed to start heading back there tomorrow morning. Wanna meet outside of here? Around 8 am?"</p><p>She nods firmly. "Yes. Yes, I'll definitely meet you." </p><p>I wonder if she knows how dangerous it is to suddenly agree to hike around the Commonwealth with someone she barely had known for an hour. She could get kidnapped, beaten, raped, or killed. Sure, she could try to put up a fight, but she wasn't all too big. I could overpower her in ten seconds flat.</p><p>"Do you have a place to stay? I have an extra cot at my place if you need it." She asks, snapping me out of my head.</p><p>I shake my head, chuckling to myself. "Nah, I got a place. Thank you, though, Eve."</p><p>"Of course. I gotta head out, I need to pack a back and get to sleep if we're gonna be traveling tomorrow. I'll see you in the morning!" She chirps. </p><p>"See you in the morning," I reply as she grabs her bag and walks out of the bar.</p><p>I mentally kick myself for being so open to this Eve. She seemed innocent enough but you never knew what people were hiding. Hell, I couldn't even tell what I was hiding anymore. </p><p>---</p><p>I stand outside of the Dugout Inn, chain smoking cigarettes and anxiously waiting. I’m not one to be nervous, and I certainly never showed it. I don't know why I’m so nervous to make the trek I had made a million times. Maybe it was because I was going with a stranger, maybe it was because she was a pretty stranger, or maybe it was because I was blindly trusting my gut. I always said to trust your gut, right?</p><p>I guess Eve came up behind me, she almost startled me with her “Hey!”</p><p>I keep my cool. “Hey. Ready?"</p><p>"Ready! I'm so excited!" She readjusts her backpack. "Are you?"</p><p>I flick my cigarette down and step on it, putting it out. "Yep." I wondered if she was making a mistake out of innocent trust or naivety. Probably both. </p><p>That's when I turn to her and almost audibly gasp. She reminds me of everything Barbara was. Now that I thought of it, her and Barbara looked like they could've been cousins. Eve had the same smile like on those old-world magazines, the same blonde hair, and the same blue eyes. The only she thing she didn't have was the figure. She was skinnier, maybe shorter. Maybe more muscular. I can't really tell, she’s wearing an oversized bomber jacket.</p><p>I shake my head at the thought of Barbara and motion for her to follow me. "It's a pretty long way,"</p><p>"I'm ready for it! Where exactly is it?"</p><p>"I can't tell you while we're in here." I start walking towards the exit. "Maybe once we're a couple hours in."</p><p>She shrugs and follows close behind. She doesn’t seem to care how long it was. "Hey, as long as it gets me outta the house, then I'm in."</p><p>"What do you do here?" I ask. Polite conversation, right?</p><p>"A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Sometimes I waitress at the Dugout, sometimes I help Arturo stock, sometimes I make supply runs for Doctor Sun, sometimes I help Nick Valentine’s secretary file his papers. Whatever I can get, really."</p><p>She’s already so close to the Railroad and has no idea. Arturo was one of its best informants, Nick knew all about it, and I’m pretty sure I had seen Dr. Sun at HQ more than once.</p><p>Once we were out of Diamond City, we start heading north. Eve tracks along next to me as I avoid eye contact at all costs. It’s been a lifetime since Barbara, but it still ached in my heart. </p><p>"So, Deacon, how'd you meet your friends?"</p><p>I want to lie just like always, but I don't want to lie to her. She seems too intuitive. She would call me on my bullshit right away.</p><p>"Well, I can't tell you right now. Maybe after we meet them." I refuse to talk about the Railroad outside of headquarters. </p><p>She shrugs her shoulders and drops the subject. "How old are you?" </p><p>I’m a bit shocked at how forward the question was. No prompting. She just asked. I know she’s younger than me, but not by how much. "Old enough to remember before the bombs dropped." I laugh. "Or at least it feels that way."</p><p>"Oh. That's like two hundred years! You look pretty young for over two hundred years." She giggles. "I'm almost twenty."</p><p>The word twenty makes my skin crawl. She isn't even twenty yet, either. She’s still a teenager. It feels so wrong to have thought of sleeping with her, but I knew it wasn't. No big deal. She’s younger, so what? She’s a grown woman, right? I try to justify the weird feelings she gives me, and it works like a charm. Lying to other people all the time makes it easier to lie to yourself.</p><p>"Wow, you're young." I reply. "I was twenty when gen two's were the highest tech."</p><p>She raises her eyebrows. "Oh wow!" </p><p>I catch on to her cluelessness. "Not literally, Eve. I don't know when gen two's were made. No one does. More than sixty years ago, that was the Broken Mask Incident."</p><p>Eve looks at me. "What's that?" She mentioned she had grown up in a little bed and breakfast, relatively secluded from the Commonwealth and Capital Wasteland, but she should've heard about it by now!</p><p>"Some sixty years ago a rogue gen three went crazy at Power Noodle and just started shooting. It was what started the fear of synths."</p><p>"Were you really around for that?!"</p><p>I laugh and shake my head. "No, Eve, I'm only thirty-three." For once I didn't lie about my age. I’m a little surprised in myself.</p><p>Eve smiles to herself. "That's great!"</p><p>Us two remain quiet, I want to know if Eve knows what she got herself into.</p><p>I want to talk, to ask questions and get to know her, but if I do, she'll ask back. In my line of business, carelessly sharing secrets wasn't wise. I'd rather stay quiet than risk anything.</p><p>After what felt like eons of a peaceful trek (surprisingly we didn't find any trouble at all!) We come up on the sewer drain.</p><p>Eve scrunches her nose at the smell. "Why are we-"</p><p>I laugh for a moment. "This is the backdoor. Front one is too risky right now." I unlock the door hidden behind some vines. "Now I gotta be upfront with you. My friends will probably definitely point guns and yell at you at first, but I promise it'll workout."</p><p>She’s visibly taken aback, but nods. "As long as they don't kill me."</p><p>"Man, I hope they don't!" I joke, opening the door. "No, no they won't, as long as you're with me we're all good,"</p><p>We walk into the pipe and I lock the door behind us. </p><p>I lead her through some halls, down some stairs, through a door, through a room with a couple of sleeping agents, and up some stairs, finally stopping in one room in front of Desdemona.</p><p>As soon as she sees Eve, she drops her cigarette and steps on it. "Deacon, who's this?"</p><p>"A friend who wants to save the synths." I state. I learned to be straightforward with Dez. </p><p>Dez looks at Eve and scans her up and down. "And you just brought her to HQ without telling anyone?"</p><p>Eve frowns. "Hey!"</p><p>Dez ignores her. "What if she was working for the Brotherhood? Or the Institute? What if she-"</p><p>I take a step toward Dez and lean into her ear. "Listen," I whispered. "This girl is harmless. She's nineteen and definitely not the brightest bulb in the pack. Trust me, she isn't working for anyone."</p><p>Dez raises an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. So how'd you meet her?"</p><p>"At the Dugout Inn. She had a couple and just went off about saving synths. I pulled her aside and was talking to her and she seemed eager to help. Who am I to deny a perfectly good agent?"</p><p>"So you're going to vouch her?"</p><p>I nod firmly. "Yes. Yes I am."</p><p>"Fine. But you're the one who's to train her. Show her the ropes."</p><p>I step back from Dez. "Thanks, boss." I turn to Eve. "Well seems you're in. I suppose I should tell you what we're all about."</p><p>Eve bounces on her toes for a moment. "Yay! Thank you!"</p><p>I smile at her gesture. Cute. Real cute. "So, c'mon, let's go sit down and I'll tell you all about the Railroad."</p><p>When we sit down, I pull out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "Want one?"</p><p>Eve shakes her head. "Nah, they remind me too much of my dead grandpa."</p><p>What an odd comparison. </p><p>I shrug and light one. "So, Eve, if you haven't caught on, we're the Railroad."</p><p>"Wait, the Railroad?"</p><p>I nod. "Yep. The super secret one who lives underground and only comes out to save synths."</p><p>Eve laughs. "No way!"</p><p>"Yes way. Basically we just save synths. When they escape, we find 'em, wipe their memories, and set them up in safe places so they can live their lives."</p><p>Her eyes go wide. "That's amazing! I want to help!"</p><p>"I know, that's why I brought you here," I chuckled, taking a drag. "And we don't let just anyone in. We stay secret for a reason."</p><p>"And you picked me out of all people?"</p><p>"There's only so much else I could've done as you rambled about liberating synths. I just had to offer you up a spot."</p><p>She grins and clasps her hands. "Thank you! And thank you for vouching for me!"</p><p>I nod. "And now that you know allllll about our secret operations, you have to pick a code name. They're really important in our line of work." </p><p>"What? My name is Eve!"</p><p>"Yes it is, so you need a name that isn't Eve,"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>I’m about to bash my head on the wall. "So no one unsavory finds you."</p><p>"So you're saying your name isn't really Deacon?"</p><p>Is she this dense? I thought she was cute and funny at first. We played off of each other well. I could tell she wasn't smart, but not understanding a codename? I overestimated her.</p><p>I shake my head, trying to clear out the mean thoughts. I don't want to think rude things about my new trainee. "No, Deacon isn't my real name."</p><p>"Then what is it?"</p><p>"Maybe I'll tell you later." I don't think I would ever tell her.</p><p>She huffs and crosses her arms. "Why not?"</p><p>I hate myself for thinking that was cute. "Because no one knows it. Now you need a codename." </p><p>She raises an eyebrow. "Uh, I don't know."</p><p>I don't know if I want to laugh or yell. I chose to laugh. </p><p>"Hey! What's so funny!"</p><p>Not knowing how to explain, I just shake my head. "Nothing, sunshine."</p><p>"Oh hey! What about sunshine?"</p><p>"Nah. That's my nickname for you. You need a codename. One that's believable. Something you can introduce yourself with without sounding insane."</p><p>She glances around the room. All there was was four beds and some trunks at the door of them. Not much to look at, if you ask me. "Well, I don't know. I guess you pick for me."</p><p>"Okay, fine." I rack my brain for other biblical names. I think she would react well if I kept with the theme. Then it hits me. "Eden! What if we call you Eden?"</p><p>Her eyes go wide as she nods. I chose to ignore what a pretty shade of blue they were. "Eden? You like Eden?"</p><p>"Yeah! That fits me so good! Better than Eve, anyway. So is that my name now? Eden?"</p><p>"Yes, Eden is your name now. If anyone asks, your name is Eden and always has been. Got it, sunshine?"</p><p>"Yeah! I like that it's from the bible. Y'know, my whole family was super into that. Praise God and all that. I don't even know how Christianity survived the blast."</p><p>I nod along. I knew plenty about Christanity. Spent a lot of time reading as a kid. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah. My brother's name is Abel and my sister is Nadia. Hey, haha, that's funny! I'm Eden and she's Nadia and it's like Eden and Nod!"</p><p>So she really does know plenty about Christianity. She was raised into it, she isn't lying. "And Eden is the opposite of Nod?"</p><p>"Yeah!" She laughs to herself. "Like, the Land of Nod is the land outside of God and Eden is the Garden of God!"</p><p>Yep. Definitely from a bible thumping family. Oh well, better than those Children of Atom freaks. "Are you and Nadia opposites?"</p><p>"Here, we'll put it this way. She ran off joined the Brotherhood of Steel. I ran off and joined you."</p><p>Polar opposites. How the hell did her sister end up with the Brotherhood of Bigots? "Huh. When did she leave you and your family?"</p><p>"Well, she's two years older than me, and she left when I was about fifteen, so she was seventeen. I left when I was eighteen."</p><p>I’m trying to put the pieces together. Raised in a Bible Thumping bed and breakfast. Has a brother and a sister. Sister was older. Sister joined the Brotherhood of Bigots. Ran off to Diamond City when she was eighteen. </p><p>"And Abel is still with our parents. He didn't recover fully from the incident."</p><p>"Wait, what incident?" </p><p>"Oh. Yeah. He got shot by a rogue synth when I was younger. Synth came to stay at our place. He seemed so normal. He said he was a caravan worker on his way home. The night went well, but when he went to leave in the morning, he just snapped, pulled a gun, and shot Abel three times."</p><p>Jesus. That's a lot to drop on someone you met yesterday. I have no idea how to respond, so I just nod. </p><p>"My dad killed the shooter. When I was helping my mom tend to Abel, I noticed that there was metal bits surrounding the shooters head. Not blood and brains. Metal."</p><p>Yeah, that was obvious. </p><p>"And well, mom and dad flipped about how the Institute was trying to kill us."</p><p>Probably not the family specifically. </p><p>"Nadia was furious. She blamed the synth. I blamed the Institute. I guess that's how we ended up so different."</p><p>So, her brother was shot by a rogue synth, dad thought the Institute was trying to kill them all, sister blamed synths, and she blamed the real issue.</p><p>I’m glad at least Eden had some common sense. </p><p>I snap out of my thoughts. "That's horrible. You mentioned Abel is still alive?"</p><p>"Yeah, he only got hit in the shoulder and leg. He's fine now, just can't walk all too good."</p><p>I wonder if I’d ever crack and tell her about Barbara. I wonder if I'd ever tell her just to call me Dean.</p><p>No. I would never be at the level with anyone. I put myself out there once and it got my wife killed. </p><p>Shut up. Stop thinking. "Hey I'm glad he's alive."</p><p>Eden nods. "I hate the Institute. They made us all turn on each other."</p><p>Well, she might be dumber than a doornail but at least she has her morals in check. </p><p>"Agreed. Now how about we hit the hay?" Wait. Did that sound like I wanted to have sex with her? Hopefully she wouldn't say anything about it.</p><p>"Yeah, that sounds nice. My legs are a bit sore." She says, standing up and stretching.</p><p>She'd have to get used to walking so much. "We can just sleep in here. That bed by the wall is Tommy Whispers'. He's out on an op, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you used it for one night."</p><p>She smiles. "Thank you so much, Deacon. Really. I'm glad to be here and I'm excited to help synths," she leaned forward and hugged me.</p><p>I cringe but grit my teeth and awkwardly pat her back. "No problemo, amigo," </p><p>When we pull away, she hops off the bed we sat on and went to Tommy's bed. "Night, Deacon."</p><p>"Night, Eden."</p><p>So she was the hugging type. Maybe I'd force myself into being the hugging type, too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Legendary Slaughter Of The Ghouls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Eden's POV</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spring 2284</p><p>"Take her to speak with that tourist. If she holds up, I'll let her aboard." Dez tells Deacon. "Make sure she understands everything."</p><p>"Aw, mom, do you not trust me? You know she's safe with me." </p><p>I grin and wave goodbye to Dez. "Thank you so much!"</p><p>"Just don't get yourself killed." Dez shakes her head. "I'm sure Deacon won't let that happen, but you never know."</p><p>Deacon laughs lightly. "I won't let anything happen to my new favorite synth sympathizer."</p><p>Dez rolls her eyes. "Okay, fine, just go out and get that info."</p><p>Deacon salutes Dez as we wander out of the Switchboard.</p><p>Seemed to be going well. Getting sent out with this mysterious cutie? I’m excited. Maybe I could pry.</p><p>---</p><p>"Now, Eden, no matter what he says, say 'mine is in the shop'." Deacon readjusts his grip on his gun. "No matter what."</p><p>I nod solidly. "Mine's in the sho-" I cut myself off. "Did you hear that?" A twig snap.</p><p>We stop in our tracks. </p><p>Before I could wave it off, three feral ghouls come charging out from behind a truck. </p><p>I frown and aim my gun at one, firing a couple of shots.</p><p>The shots didn't seem to do anything to slow it down, so I resort to gun bashing. </p><p>One, two, three bashes and the first was down.</p><p>I glance over at Deacon who had just taken down one.</p><p>The last one jumps at me and I let out a shriek as Deacon ripped the feral ghoul off of me. </p><p>It fell to the ground and tried to scurry back up, but before it could, Deacon shoots it down.</p><p>I kick the body. "Thank you, by the way."</p><p>"Don't mention it." He says, kneeling down and checking the bodies for loot.</p><p>We continued on the road for another few minutes until we came up on a chalk symbol on the ground.</p><p>Deacon stops and pointed at it. "That's one of the rail signs I was talking about. It means “ally."</p><p>I look at the sign. A plus sign with lines in all directions around it. "Ally."</p><p>"Yep, ally. You'd be surprised at how many there are." He smiles. "C'mon."</p><p>We still continue until Deacon spots a small glowing light just over a hill. </p><p>"Hey! Look, that should be our tourist. What do you say to him, no matter what?"</p><p>"Mine is in the shop." I repeat.</p><p>I’m proud of myself for remembering. Sure, it wasn't a fantastical feat, but for someone who wasn't necessarily the brightest crayon in the bunch, it was good enough.</p><p>We came up on the tourist and he looks up from his makeshift camp. "Look here, do you happen to have a Geiger counter?"</p><p>I shake my head, my blonde braids swaying. "Mine's in the shop."</p><p>Deacon smiles as the tourist reaches in his pocket and pulls out a couple of scraps of paper. "HQ said they were sending one agent."</p><p>"Oh, I'm new." Deacon says quickly. "She's showing me the ropes." </p><p>I don't understand why he was lying, but shrug it off and play along. </p><p>The tourist raises his eyebrow and shrugs. "Here. A couple of escaped comrades should be here."</p><p>I nod. "Agent Eden. This is Agent Deacon." I hoped it was believable. </p><p>"Why didn't they dead drop it if it's just a location of some synths?" Deacon asks. "Do you know?"</p><p>"I was supposed to be the one taking 'em back to HQ, but the place they are is crawling with enough ferals. I couldn't handle it myself, so I sent for backup. I suppose you're the backup."</p><p>I look to Deacon. "You ready for another fight?" I turn to the tourist. "We just had to fend off three on the way here."</p><p>The tourist nods."Yep. Well, I suppose we should be on our way. Those escapees have been waiting for a couple days." He picks up his gun and adjusts his bullet belt. "Anyways, you can call me Watchdog."</p><p>"Like she said, I'm Deacon and she's Eden."</p><p>I fight the urge to correct him. I need to get used to hearing Eden and not Eve.</p><p>"Deacon and Eden. Good to meet you. Now let's go kick some feral ass!" Watchdog smiles.</p><p>-</p><p>Our trio came up on an old, long abandoned building. I can't quite tell what the building was before the bombs fell. It seems just to be an office.</p><p>Suddenly, I turn around to see Deacon aiming a gun at a fast approaching feral ghoul.</p><p>I clench my teeth and start to aim my gun to another ghoul coming.</p><p>Deacon shoots two head shots on the first and turns around to another behind him, bashing its bald head in with the butt of his gun. "Ah, this shall be one of our finest hours," another bash to another ghoul, "tales will be told about our legendary slaughter of the ferals!"</p><p>I giggle at his comment as I take out another couple as they run toward me. "Ew! Don't touch me!"</p><p>Now it was Deacon's turn to laugh. "You've lived in this world for nineteen years and you still are grossed out by simple ferals?"</p><p>"Oh shut up! They're basically zombies! You know, from those old world books?" Another shot. Another down. </p><p>"You really are a little princess, aren't you?" He takes a couple steps back and turns around once again. "From a far away bed and breakfast, stuck with an insane family, and has never had to punch a ghoul!"</p><p>I feel my face get hot, but I can't tell if it was from Deacon's comment or from my sacredness of the ghouls. "Oh and you're over here being oh so mysterious! You know, we met two days ago and you haven't taken your sunglasses off once! Even for sleep last night! What's that all about, huh? Is it part of the 'mysterious hot guy' look you're going for?" I kill the last of the ghouls.</p><p>Deacon laughs out loud and wipes his brow with the back of his sleeve. "And what look are you going for? Innocent girl who still wears her hair in two braids?"</p><p>I put my gun in her holster and roll my eyes, suppressing a smile. "Oh shut up! I'll have you know I'm not innocent and I only wear my hair like this because it's comfortable!"</p><p>Watchdog clears his throat. "If you two are done flirting, we got a couple synths to save."</p><p>"We were NOT flirting!" I laugh. "We were having a heated argument!" Or were we? I thought he was handsome and mentioned it to his face. He called me cute. The physical attraction was there, and the personality one was coming along nicely. Maybe it was fate that pushed us together.</p><p>"While fighting off twenty feral ghouls, yeah, okay," Watchdog smiles. "Whatever. Whatever you two do behind closed doors isn't my business."</p><p>I blush and glance at Deacon, who has his same permanent smirk plastered on his dumb, handsome face. I wished I could tell if he was starting to like me too.</p><p>Our group cautiously entered the building, hoping there were no more ferals to take down. </p><p>We walk room to room to room, until we find the purpose of the mission - the two synths who needed saved.</p><p>The synths looked terrified.</p><p>"Oh please don't hurt us!" The first one says, backing away slowly.</p><p>Deacon elbows me lightly. "Your time to shine, Eeds."</p><p>I gulp and take a step forward. "Hey, hey, we aren't gonna hurt you. We're your friends. We're here to get you out of here and somewhere safe." I hope it was the right thing to say. I’m usually good with people, but I’m almost shaking with nerves and adrenaline.</p><p>The first one steps forward. "Okay...who are you?"</p><p>"I'm Eden, and these are my friends Watchdog and Deacon. We're with the railroad." I’m sure to say Eden and not Eve.</p><p>The second one stands up from the chair he was sitting in. "Are you really?"</p><p>"We are, I promise."</p><p>The first smiles and runs up to hug me tightly. "Thank you so much!"</p><p>I don't understand how this person - this one who seemed so real - could possibly have metal under her soft skin. Her hair is long and black and she seems so human. </p><p>She pulls away from me, keeping hands on my shoulders. "My name is A9-23, but I prefer to be called Trixie. This is N7-31 but he likes Lucas better."</p><p>Lucas steps up closer and looks at Deacon intensely. "Do I know you from somewhere?"</p><p>Deacon shakes his head. "Nah. Didn't you just get out of the Institute?"</p><p>He nods. "Few days ago. Figured we'd bunker here for the night. Had no idea it was infested with ferals."</p><p>"Made a mad dash to this room here and didn't get ripped apart," Trixie adds. </p><p>"Sent out a radio signal and prayed for someone who could help picked it up." Lucas finishes. </p><p>I smile and turn to show them out of the building. I don't know what to do once they get out. No one ever explained the whole plan to me. All I know was to find the tourist. We found the tourist, of course, and then we cleared the ghouls and rescued the synths. What would we do now?</p><p>I block the sun with my hand as the five of us made it back outside. "Now what?"</p><p>Deacon shrugs. "How about you tell me, sunshine."</p><p>I roll my eyes. "How am I supposed to know?"</p><p>"Well what's the next logical step? What do we do with the synths?"</p><p>"Uh, take them back to HQ? That's what Watchdog said he was gonna do,"</p><p>"Good guess, but no. We take them to the Memory Den in Goodneighbor." He says. "Usually Dez tells us what to do with them after the rescue. She told me before we left."</p><p>"When did she have time to tell just you? Where was I?!"</p><p>"You were trying to convince Glory to catch you a pet bird."</p><p>My eyes go wide. "Oh yeah!"</p><p>I really do want a pet bird. </p><p>"Now we make it over to good ol' Goodneighbor. Have you ever been there?"</p><p>"Once. Nick paid me to take a message to Hancock. Pretty sure I almost got stabbed."</p><p>"Probably did." Deacon laughs. "Hancock turns his cheek to the Railroad's activities. Makes a great hideout."</p><p>I nod as we started towards Goodnighbor.</p><p>-</p><p>The trip to Goodneighbor was successful, and we left the synths with another agent nearby. Deacon and I made it back to HQ with little trouble. </p><p>"Op is done, Dez. Trixie and Lucas are now officially liberated." Deacon beams. </p><p>Dez raises her eyebrows. "I owe Eden here an apology for doubting her so much. Welcome aboard, agent Eden."</p><p>So I made it. Proven myself enough that I was welcomed into one of the most secretive organizations in the region. </p><p>I don't know how. All I did was kill a few ghouls and escort a couple synths to the Memory Den.</p><p>Maybe it was because Deacon vouched for me. He seems like an important face around here. </p><p>"Dez, I told you she was Railroad material!"</p><p>My heart flutters at the compliment. "Thank you-"</p><p>"Not that it was an especially hard op," Glory teases from behind Dez. </p><p>Deacon laughs . "And what was your first mission, Glory?"</p><p>She shakes her head. "Same same," </p><p>"Don't worry about Glory," Dez says. "She's just-"</p><p>"I know." I say. I’ve grown up with an older brother who did the same exact thing.</p><p>Shrugging, Dez looks at Deacon. "You're responsible for Eden's training. Take her on all your missions until you're confident she can be on her own."</p><p>"Copy that, boss." He says. </p><p>I wonder if I'll ever be trusted to go out on my own.</p><p>I hoped not. I want to be with this snarky asshole who wore a wig. I make a mental note: ask him about his wig.</p><p>“Actually, you know what?” Glory says, crossing her arms. “I’m gonna say it. This new girl is a dumbass.”</p><p>I furrow my eyebrows. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s dumb, Dez. Why are you taking Deacon’s word for it, anyway? Isn't he known for lying?”</p><p>“Glory,” Dez frowns. “If I recall right, I’m in charge, and I happen to trust Deacon,”</p><p>“Why?! He doesn't even try to hide the lies! And you just trust him on this? She could be a major security breach!”</p><p>Deacon shakes his head. “What the hell, Glory? What’s gotten into you?”</p><p>“Nothing, I’m just so damn tired of being second best to the Commonwealth’s biggest liar!”</p><p>“Sorry, but when’s the last time you saved a synth besides yourself?” Deacon says cooly. “And why are you being so hard on the new girl? We just got back from an op where two synths were liberated, and you just decide to bash her?”</p><p>I wonder why Deacon is defending me against someone he seemingly had been close for a long time.</p><p>“She’s dumb, Deacon. Can you not tell that she’s a total airhead?”</p><p>Deacon rolls his eyes. “And so what if she is? She’s got the charisma we need.” </p><p>Glory glares at me then shook her head and walked out of the room.</p><p>I decid to break the silence. “What happened?”</p><p>Deacon shakes his head and gently pats my back. “Glory’s just been having a rough time lately. Don’t take it personally. She went off on Tinker Tom the other day.”</p><p>I don't want to admit it, but I know I’m not the smartest. At least I know I’m not a genius, right? I know it and use it to strengthen my charisma.</p><p>“It still hurt my feelings!” I frown.</p><p>“She’ll apologize eventually, Eeds. Don't sweat it.”</p><p>I push it aside, deciding not to get hung up on it. It hurt, but if Deacon was telling me it was okay, then it was probably okay.</p><p>Why does he make me feel so secure? As soon as I saw him in the Dugout, I trusted him, he hadn't given me a reason not to trust him yet. Glory insisted he was a liar, but in reality, everyone's a liar. </p><p>If Deacon lies then so be it. I still want him around, even if we had known each other for three days and counting. </p><p>---</p><p>Winter 2285</p><p>"And that's another successful op in our pockets, Eden! We did it with only minor injuries and like, four deaths," Deacon laughs, slinging his arm around me as he unlocks our room at the Rexford. "Tales will be told all about our magnificent feats and missions!"</p><p>I giggle. "Yeah they will!"</p><p>I’m  teetering on the edge of tipsy and off my ass, and by the sounds of it, so is he.</p><p>He got the door open and wanders into the room, locking the door behind me. "Isn't it great? Working with me?"</p><p>"Sure is, Deaks!" I plop on the bed. "The bestest!"</p><p>He plops beside me and beams. "You're the best!"</p><p>He isn't normally like this. Must be been on the smashed side.</p><p>"I don't normally go spilling feelings," Deacon starts. </p><p>Oh jeez, here he goes. </p><p>"But traveling with you for the past….a while has been great. Before you stumbled in, I was a lone wolf," He makes a slight howl noise, causing me to laugh. "And I'm really happy you're around. You balance me out well,"</p><p>I turn to my side to face him. "You balance me, too."</p><p>"I like you." He states, suddenly serious. "It's bad, I know,"</p><p>I quickly shake my head. "No, it's not bad."</p><p>"I like your hair because it's all sunshiney and wavy when you take out your braids and I like your eyes because they're very blue like a mix between the ocean and sky and your little button nose."</p><p>I feel my face getting warmer. "Deacon,"</p><p>"And when you sing my heart goes boom boom boom boom boom,"</p><p>I have no idea what to say. Here I am, laying in bed with a man I was sure I was in love with, and he was spilling out his feelings for me.</p><p>"I don't know what to say, Deaks. I like you too,"</p><p>"You gave me something to keep fighting for and thank you."</p><p>I can't think of anything to do besides pull his face into mine and kiss him.</p><p>And god damn it feels good.</p><p>It feels good.</p><p>It feels right. </p><p>It escalates.</p><p>Later</p><p>I close my eyes as I lay on his bare chest, listening to his heart beating.</p><p>It was fast, but gradually slowing down.</p><p>Deacon runs his fingers up and down my arm, his other hand behind his head. </p><p>I sure hope that this would become a regular thing. </p><p>Am I ready to commit to a real relationship? Probably not. Am I ready to put myself through the complicated relationship that comes with the 'friends with benefits' type? Yes.</p><p>As we lay there in the quiet bliss, I hear quiet snores.</p><p>He’s out like a light.</p><p>I’m shocked he allowed himself to 1. Spill his feelings, 2. Sleep with me, and 3. Actually fall asleep.</p><p>That isn't usually his style.</p><p>I glance at the door, making absolutely sure it’s locked (it was Goodneighbor after all) and close my eyes, trying to make this feeling last forever.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know it's kind of going fast, but I'm trying to set up for the main plot :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Feelings and Other Inconveniences</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Summer 2285</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh no. Oh god. Oh shit. They're right there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I grabbed Eden's sleeve and pulled her down. "I don't think they saw us." I whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eden let out a slow breath. "God damn raiders."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Us two were outnumbered. By a lot. I thought we could handle this. I thought we could sneak through the camp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was wrong. I was wrong and it could get us killed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There we were, sitting in the middle of one of the biggest raider camps in the Commonwealth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Deacon…" Eden said quietly. "What's the plan?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I always had a plan. I always had a plan but now I didn't and it could end in death.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn't want to die. Not yet. Not with so many synths left to save, not with the Institute still lurking in the shadows, and not with so many things left unsaid. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Deacon?" She said again. "Plan?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shook my head. "I'm out of brain."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She glanced around. There was no way we could possibly make it out unscathed. We were barely covered with raiders around every corner. "Are we gonna die?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Probably. "I'm sorry…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So that's a yes?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Eden, please, listen," I had to say it before we died. I didn't want her to die without knowing. It was now or never.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you." I said, grabbing her hand and squeezing. No going back now. "I love you so much and meeting you was one of the best moments in my life." Right up there with meeting Barbara.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked at her, willing myself to memorize her pretty face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That stupid blonde hair that she always wore in two braids.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Those stupid eyes that were so blue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her stupid freckles that dotted her cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn't want to die. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She finally broke the silence "What do you mean?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had to be kidding. I just opened myself up for the first time in years and all I get is a 'what do you mean'?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I mean I love you, Eden. I love you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I know, I love you too, Deaks," She smiled. "You're my best friend,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did I really just get friend zoned? We'd been having sex regularly for months, but all I am is a best friend?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whatever. What did it fucking matter, now? We’re going to die, anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I heard raiders getting a bit too close for comfort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No sense in hiding anymore. No sense in fighting. Barely a sense in running. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But barely a sense is better than no sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One more glance to Eden before pulling her up and making a mad dash to the exit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gun shots. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So </span>
  </em>
  <span>many gun shots. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yelling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Screaming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then a shriek. The worst one I'd ever heard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eden.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I turned around for a split second just to see her limping while running.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her leg was bleeding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stopped dead in my tracks for a moment before she caught up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grabbing her arm, I started pulling her as I ran. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She started whimpering but I didn't care. I needed to get us out of there </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt a bullet whizz just past my face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was getting winded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Go. Go. Go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Go NOW.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The entrance of the camp was in sight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily we were in the Boston Common by Swan's Pond. The raiders always stopped if they went too close. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only a few hundred more yards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Deacon!" Eden cried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Almost there!" I called back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Go god damn it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mylegs started aching. Damn, I needed to get in shape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aha! There's the sign! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>'Do not enter'? Too bad. I was sure we wouldn't wake Swan. I'd take a chance at Swan rather than getting fucking destroyed by raiders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Annnnnnnnd we were home free ladies and gents.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Passing the sign, the raiders stopped immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once thoroughly in no man's land, we slowed down and stopped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pulled her into a long abandoned building, sitting her down and collapsing next to her. "Let me see." I tried catching my breath quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moved her hands and I saw the new hole in her pants and the graze in her flesh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bullet nicked her thigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was certainly a lot of blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tears were running down her face as I rummaged through my pack. I had plenty of other disguises, I could spare a shirt to use as a tourniquet, especially for her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lifted her thigh and tied it around her upper thigh as tight as I could. "I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not your fault," she hastily wiped her face. "Only the bastard who shot me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it was my fault. I dragged her out, I went through the camp, and I decided to run. It was all my fault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My fault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was my fucking fault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barbara being killed, Eden getting shot, it was my fault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe I should just stop. If I wasn't around, maybe they'd be better off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Deaks?" She said quietly. "I'll be okay,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit. Shit. She knew I was blaming myself. She knew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I never told her about Barbara.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I'd been traveling with her for two entire years and I never told her about Barbara.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was time. I had to do it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Eden, I was married," I blurted, immediately regretting it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She paused her rummaging through her backpack. "What?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I was married. Barbara. Her name was Barbara. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She was...well...she just was. She was just her. Barbara had the same smile as the old magazines and this long blonde hair and big blue eyes. She loved me for me, she loved all my past mistakes."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What happened to her?" Her eyes were wide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"She, well, she was a synth and she was killed." I couldn't bring myself to tell her about the UP Deathclaws. She would leave me. She would never speak to me again. She would hate me for the rest of my life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eden stayed quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh no, oh fuck, she's mad. She's mad at me for not telling her. Shit. Say something! "But that was a lifetime ago."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How long?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I was twenty-two when she was killed."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So… more than a decade?" She pulled out a stimpack and handed it to me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I nodded. "A lifetime ago." I got it ready and stabbed it into her leg. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gritted her teeth through the poke then let out a small sigh. "Did you really mean it?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mean what?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That you love me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit. I only said that because I thought we were dead. I was amazed at how we made it out. "Eden…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well? Did you?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pursed my lips. "I thought we were going to die,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So? That doesn't change the fact that you said it. Tell me, did you really mean it?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Um, well, it's not that-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes. "It's a yes or no answer, Deacon."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed, giving up my protest. "Yes."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you too!" She smiled. "You're my best friend and I would be so bored without you!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That stabbed me in the heart. I really was in the friendzone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the last time I would ever open myself up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thanks, Eeds. You too," I mumbled. "Your leg okay?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I think I'm okay." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you just wanna stay the night here?" I asked. It was getting pretty dark out and I didn't want to take any risks with her leg.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded. "Yes please," </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I bit my tongue as I unrolled their sleeping bags. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was getting awkward in there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit. Say something, diffuse the tension. Crack a joke. I was always cracking jokes, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Eeds," I smiled. "How 'bout we share a sleeping bag tonight, huh?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She laughed. The most beautiful noise. "Bit warm out, don't you think?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shrugged. "I don't care about heat as long as I can get into yours," </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"My lord, Deacon!" She let out another laugh. "If it was colder, I would totally be in your sleeping bag. Keep me warm, I'll keep you warm." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was joking back. Oh thank god. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wouldn't be the first time, huh, Eeds?" My mind flashed back to the first time we ever slept together. I thanked my lucky stars that it didn't ruin our friendship. Shit, she seemed closer to me after that. After that, I felt closer to her too. It was easier for me to hug her back, (I still was not the hugging type), I didn't mind it when she cuddled up to me, hell, she even held my hand sometimes. Well, and the stress relieving boning they had at least twice a week was pretty close too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She held my hand in public. We were always sharing beds. We drank out of the same bottles. We shared food. We had sex.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If I didn't know better, then I'd assume she liked me too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But no. I was just her 'best friend'.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, if you want a repeat of last week, say the word and I'll be all over you,' She smirked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God damn, did I want to say the word. "Yeah? Then in the throes of passion you'd rip my wig off and scream."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I've known you were bald since our first op, Deaks. You've been bald in bed before." She rolled her eyes, rummaging through her bag again. "And it's not like you're naturally bald, anyway. You shave your head."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Touche, my darling Eden."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She seemed to forget about my admittance of Barbara. That was one of my favorite qualities about her. She never pried too much. If she could tell something made the other person uncomfortable, she dropped it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why do you do that, anyway? We've been together for two years and you've never told me why you shave your head."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shrugged. "Well, you know I'm ginger, so it's really identifiable. Easier to wear wigs, anyway. I can make them match my outfit!" Shouldn't she know this by now? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the moment, I was wearing just a plain t-shirt and jeans, along with my go-to black wig. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, not go-to, but I wore it the most. It was Eden's favorite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was glad it didn't fly off when we were making a mad dash.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh. Simple enough." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thinking about it, I was shocked at how little she knew about me. After over two years, one would think we knew each other inside and out. Especially since almost every day was spent together in some kind of fashion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But no. All we seemed to talk about was dumb inside jokes that would have us rolling with laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Laughing with someone was more important than knowing every detail about them, anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pulled out some smashed snack cakes and tossed one at me. "Dinner time, hun,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I loved it when she called me that. But I hated it, too. I hated myself for loving it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," I glanced at the packaging. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Best by 13 Jun 2080</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet it was still perfectly preserved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I always thought it was a bit suspicious but I didn't care. I was starving and it was all the food we had. We'd head back to HQ in the morning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You okay, Deaks?" Eden cocked her head. "Seem quiet."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I nodded. Shit. "I'm great, Eden, I'm always great. Didn't you know that?" I forced a smile. "Always so good,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You don't seem too good." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damn it. She could read me like a book. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a lot of confessions today, after all. I admitted my love and I told her about Barbara. I never thought I would.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, Eeds. I'm okay, just shaken about those raiders. I felt a bullet barely miss my face. If I was an inch forward, it would be bye bye Deacon."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eden narrowed her eyes, but they softened. "I, well, I dunno what to say. I'm really sorry about your wife, I'm sure she was amazing." She held her arms out like asking for a hug. She knew that I needed to hear it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I reluctantly scooted over to her and let her wrap her arms around me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wasn't the hugging type, but damn it, she was an exception.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you, too, Deacon. You saved me from the most mediocre life. I didn't want to live in Diamond City for the rest of my life. I didn't want to do odd jobs forever."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was one of the most intelligent things ever muttered by her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wasn't smart. She wasn't especially strong. She was just good with people, and that was a hell of an attribute in the wasteland. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt tears start rolling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit. Fuck. Stop. Stop. Stop it. I didn't cry. I never cried. I hadn't cried since Barbara. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gently dragged her nails up and down my back. "I know it's hard out there, but I'm here, and it's all going to be okay."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I told myself it would be okay constantly, but hearing her say it was confirmation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eden lied, she had to, she was a spy for God's sake, but she never lied to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her little tell for when she was lying was clasped her hands together. It was unintentional, but I just glad she didn't have a ridiculously obvious one, like shaking her leg or something stupid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied because it felt like I had to, even when it made no sense. Even when it would be easier to tell the truth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On our first op, so long ago, I didn't know why I lied to the tourist and said I was the new guy. I had no reason. I just did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied to myself the most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied to myself about not  missing Barbara anymore. I missed her more than anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied about my feelings for Eden. I was head over heels. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied about quitting smoking. I still smoked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied about quitting drinking. I still drank. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied about sleeping with people 'just to get information', and that I didn't want to do it. I just wanted to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied about not having any past trauma. There was plenty of trauma. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lied about how much I lied. I lied constantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And I hated myself for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Here I was, crying in the arms of a girl more than ten years my junior. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How did I sink so low?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How could I let myself seem so weak?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Who did I think he was? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wanted to stop crying. I wanted to just get up and leave. I wanted to get another face change and disappear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But I couldn't.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eden would be broken if I up and left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And her feelings were more important than my ego.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you, Deacon. I love you." She said quietly, kissing my head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It stung to hear it. She loved me as a friend. I loved her as a girlfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why the hell were feelings so inconvenient, anyway? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm a fraud." I mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am too."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"To my very core."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Me too, Deacon. Me too.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Merc with a Clean Mouth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Summer 2287</p><p>I sat, nodding off with my gun still in my hands. Staking out a vault was a lot less fun than it seemed.</p><p>All it was was sitting around for hours on end, waiting for it to open. </p><p>Rumor had it that there was still a person in there. Apparently sixty years ago, people were seen coming out of the vault.</p><p>I had no idea if it was true or not. Deacon told me about the opening and how there’s someone in there, but I didn't know what to think. On one hand, I could usually tell when he was lying, and it felt like a lie. On the other, he wouldn't be wasting both of our time, endlessly waiting for some activity near the vault.</p><p>The sun was rising over the horizon, slowly peeking up.</p><p>It almost meant my turn keeping watch was over. It felt like I had been sitting watch for weeks, but Deacon had only fallen asleep for a few hours ago.</p><p>I wondered if anyone was really still inside the vault. Vault 111. I’d never been a vault before.</p><p>If someone is in there, they’re either really, really old, or was somehow preserved since the blast.</p><p>I shook her head and reached for a can of water. For it being so late in the season, it was still too warm for comfort. Under the cover of night wasn’t too bad, but the days were still sweaty and miserable. I almost preferred winter. It was prettier and cooler, but snow just made it that much harder to work.</p><p>I bit my lip and looked back to Deacon, who was still snoring away on the sleeping bag.</p><p>Huh. I wondered if they’d ever get married. He’d only told me about Barbara a year ago, and she had died more than a decade ago, but I was sure losing a spouse was unimaginable pain. </p><p>Did he love me like he loved Barbara? Would he ever? Would he ever want to take it to the next step with me? </p><p>Sure, he was my first ‘adult’ love, and sure I was naive, but it seemed like he was the only mansI could ever bring myself to love.</p><p>Is that how he felt about Barbara? Did he think he could never love again?</p><p>It took me months to accept that he loved me, regardless of Barbara, but it managed to get through to me. </p><p>I’d told him she loved him back. Did he believe me? He had a palace of trust issues, would he ever accept that I loved him, despite all his flaws?</p><p>I was startled when his snoring abruptly stopped.</p><p>Deacon’s shades covered his eyes, preventing me from seeing if he was awake or not.</p><p>He sat up.</p><p>Yep. He was awake.</p><p>“Mornin’ sunshine,” he stretched. “How was watch?”</p><p>I shrugged, quickly wiping the two tears that fell while I watched him sleep. “Boring.”</p><p>“Tell me about it. You want a nap or do you wanna pop down to HQ and get some food?”</p><p>I shook my head. “HQ is a bit far, dontcha think?”</p><p>Deacon’s face fell. “Oh...yeah… I forgot about that…”</p><p>Theit previous HQ, the Switchboard, had been destoyed by the Insitute, taking some of our absolute best agents with it. Within an hour, Tommy Whispers, Ms. Boom, Songbird, and many, many more were gone forever.</p><p>The new HQ was under the Old North Church near the Boston Common. A big pain in the ass to get to, trailing through raider camps and supermutant hideouts. At least we didn't have to worry about our friends dying.</p><p>“I have some food. If you’re up for it, we could pop down to Abernathy Farm and I’m sure they’d hook us up with some more.” Deacon stood up and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. </p><p>I nodded and stood up, stretching out my legs. “Yeah. Anything to get me away from staring at this vault forever.”</p><p>We silently packed up the camp and started heading down to Abernarthy. The Abernathy family had always taken a liking to me. My family used to trade with them when we came up from the Bed and breakfast.</p><p>---</p><p>Two weeks later</p><p>The Memory Den always seemed to have a smokey haze, no matter if anyone was smoking or not. </p><p>It made me wonder what it was like to go back into your own memories and relive it. </p><p>I'd accompanied Deacon a few times, but never did it myself. </p><p>But me and Deacon weren't there for shits and giggles. We were there to memory wipe a couple of runaway synths. X9-73 and H1-34, if I remembered correctly. </p><p>I was following the group downstairs when I stopped in her tracks. </p><p>A man sat on a bench with his head in his hands, shaking ever so slightly.</p><p>He was definitely crying and I couldn't let him cry alone.</p><p>I quietly walked up to him and put my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. "Hey."</p><p>"Go away." He mumbled, shaking his head. </p><p>"You look sad." I said, sitting next to him.</p><p>"Yeah and you look annoying, so beat it."</p><p>"I am annoying, so that makes you sad. What's wrong?"</p><p>The man didn't respond, he only lifted his hat and ran his fingers through his sandy brown hair. </p><p>I took that as a sign that he didn't want to talk about what was making him so sad, so I just gently placed a hand on his back and patted it. Since it was the Memory Den, one could only assume it had something to do with something he relived. </p><p>He put his hat back on and hastily wiped his face with the back of his hand. </p><p>"I'm here if you wanna talk." I said. "Sometimes it's better to talk to a stranger."</p><p>"Everyone here are strangers." He mumbled. </p><p>"Not from around here?" I asked, rubbing his back </p><p>He shook his head. "Capital Wasteland. Little Lamplight."</p><p>I just nodded. I'd never been to Little Lamplight, but she'd heard all about it.</p><p>"I'm sorry." He muttered, taking a deep breath. "I should've known better. Should've waited until I got back to the Third Rail to lost my shi- composure."</p><p>I raised an eyebrow at his refusal to say shit but shrugged it off. "No, don't say sorry. Emotions are hard."</p><p>"I just, I miss her so much, y'know?" He wiped his eyes before more tears fell.</p><p>"Miss who?"</p><p>"My wife, my wife Lucy. She's dead now and I'll never see her again." </p><p>Ouch. My mind went to Barbara. I knew how fucked up Deacon was from losing a wife, this guy no doubt had to be just as bad. </p><p>"I'm sure she misses you too."</p><p>"Easy for you to say that. You married?" </p><p>I shook my head, feeling my braids sway. Ugh, I needed to wash my hair. "Just got a bit of a boyfriend."</p><p>"Losing someone you love like that is the most soul crushing thing, y'know? We had a son…"</p><p>Double ouch. Deacon never had any children. Not that I knew of, anyway. </p><p>"Is your son alive?"</p><p>"Yeah," he sniffled. "He's back in the Capital. He's so little, he's only three, and he never gets to see his mommy again."</p><p>I couldn't imagine growing up without my mother. Sure, my mom was a bit of a pompous asshole, but she was my mom.</p><p>"But he still has one amazing daddy."</p><p>He let out a half hearted laugh. "No, no I'm not amazing. I'm a monster." </p><p>"No one's truly a monster, we're all just products of our upbringings." I smiled. "Really."</p><p>"Yeah? What do you do for a living? Because I kill people."</p><p>Well shit, that was pretty rough, but the Commonwealth needed mercenaries.</p><p>"I do something in the same vein. Let's just say I'm not who I think I am." </p><p>"I'd rather be a liar than a killer."</p><p>I knew I was a liar, all spies had to be. I didn't think of it as lying, though. I thought of it as a sort of roleplaying. Eve and Eden were two totally different people, and Eve was dead. I'd been roleplaying as Eden ever since I joined the Railroad.</p><p>"We do what we have to."</p><p>The man took a shaky breath in. "Our son, Duncan, he's sick. He's so, so sick, and I left him with friends down in the Capital. What kind of father am I? Leaving my son all alone?"</p><p>"Why did you leave?"</p><p>"The cure. There's one cure in the world and it's here, in Med-tek. I tried to get in, but the place is swarming with ferals. I can't do it on my own. Hell, I tried to take a team but couldn't get past the outside."</p><p>Right then, I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to help this man get that cure, or die trying.</p><p>"I'll help,"</p><p>He shook his head. "No. No I don't want to drag innocent lives into this. Hell, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I never open up to people."</p><p>I shrugged. "I have that effect on people." </p><p>That's the only reason I was even in the Railroad. </p><p>He let out another laugh and shook his head once again. "Dam- dang. I'm getting to be a real big softie, crying in public and on the shoulder of some random girl I don't even know the name of."</p><p>"I'm Eden," I replied. I figured I should introduce myself.</p><p>"I'm MacCready, but since I already spilled my guts to you, I suppose you can call me RJ."</p><p>"Good to meet you, RJ."</p><p>He held out his hand and I shook it. </p><p>I could tell we would be good friends. Hopefully he didn’t catch on to why I was even at the Memory Den anyway.</p><p>“So now that I bore my soul to you, it’s your turn.” </p><p>Damn it. </p><p>I pursed my lips. “I can’t tell you.”</p><p>“You’re joking, right?” He rolled his eyes. “Y’know what? Nevermind. This is why I don’t open up to people.”</p><p>Guilt washed over me as I felt her face turn red. RJ seemed trustworthy enough, right? Maybe he could be a new agent. Plus we were in the Memory Den, everyone that worked there also worked for the Railroad.</p><p>I leaned in closely. “I’m a spy.”</p><p>MacCready let out a laugh. “Yeah, okay, and I’m King of the World.”</p><p>“No, really. That’s why I’m here.”</p><p>“Is that dude in the sunglasses a spy, too? What about those two other charaters that came in with you, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that guy is my sorta boyfriend and yes he is too.”</p><p>“What’s his name?”</p><p>“Deacon.”</p><p>He rubbed his eyes. “Don’t leave me hangin’! A spy for what?”</p><p>“The Railroad.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the late update!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My parents found this fic and have both read it.<br/>If you're reading this, mom and dad, stOP IT.</p><p>But thank you everyone else for reading! Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my own self indulgence. Sorry it was so boring, it'll get better later, I promise! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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